Trim the Fat & Empathy
My two most recent full episodes of the podcast resonated with me as the guests spoke to two concepts I was trying to frame up in my mind: trimming the fat and empathy.
My guest Aliza (Episode 24), talked about how the pandemic taught people to “trim the fat” in their lives. As we discussed this idea, I realized that so many people take that approach both consciously and subconsciously, including myself. I worry that being in this quarantine will jeopardize my relationships since I am not getting out to enjoy “face time” with people. I fear that relationships will suffer, and I may lose some friendships. Aliza and I discussed this feeling as it is undoubtedly valid, but she also brought to the forefront that trimming the fat may also refer to lackluster relationships. It isn’t just about reducing your stuff at home, cleaning out closets, donating unused food - it is also about cleaning out the junk collecting from non-beneficial interactions in our lives. For some people, their careers are taking a new direction, or people have taken the time to build passion projects that may become a lucrative career down the road. More importantly, quarantine has taught us how to be more flexible and accept the various stages and ways we interact with people. If I think back through the recent months, a few things stand out to me:
Just before lockdown, I flew back to LA for a wedding of a good friend and I am so glad I did. She appreciated it, and I had the chance to catch up with people, some of whom I hadn’t seen in a couple of years before being closed in by myself.
During this time, a few people from my previous life in a LA have consistently kept in touch. As someone who isn’t always the best at reaching out first, this has been something I have cherished and appreciated even if I haven’t always said it aloud. (Looking at you, Rebecca, Lorenzo, Kelly!)
My family has managed to keep in contact the same as we have been, if not a bit more frequently, thanks to all the communication platforms. My parents have jumped into learning technology more and are now texting, sending stickers and emojis, and Zoom better than some of my colleagues!
The family of my colleague and friend that were gracious enough to include me in their festivities for my first holidays in NJ have continued to ask me to join them in socially distant activities. From outdoor BBQs at their house to outdoor winery visits, they have continued to be a fantastic positive piece of my world.
For the most part, I am very independent and self-sufficient, but I will never miss an opportunity to hug someone again—apologies in advance to my coworkers.
I really am too materialistic and now have lots of bags and boxes ready for donation pickup by the Vietnam Vets of America. I also have found items that I know some friends or family would enjoy, so while trimming some fat, I am trying to do so in a more sustainable friendly way.
The other message that has continuously been popping up in work, social media, streaming is what Robert (Episode 25) spoke to, which is empathy. He shared how his greatest skill in the workplace in helping with competing priorities and conflict is the ability to draw on empathy. Understanding where a person is coming from and applying that to the conversation helps immeasurably when it comes to finding a compromise and resolution. I realized that over my career at my current company, I have been fortunate to have reported to managers who demonstrate empathy and servant leadership. I have seen other groups diminish under more autocratic type leadership but have been fortunate enough to have managers who care about me as a person and wish for my success, not just theirs. That is a huge blessing that not everyone currently works with, but I would like to recognize it is out there. If you don’t currently have that luxury of an amazing manager, don’t worry, there is still hope for your development plans! As Robert and so many other guests of the podcast have noted, finding mentors and advocates helps immensely. They can give you a different perspective, perhaps through a third party, unbiased lens, and supplement any of that personal attachment you are looking for in your current role.
I wanted to share this with you, kind reader, as I think we just need a little more awareness in our world today. We all need to remember to step back, see what is truly important, and just be conscious of others and their struggles. I truly believe that if we all drew upon empathy, so many of the problems today could be resolved so much more quickly.
So let’s try it, shall we?