Am I Blunt or Are You Fake?

Why is it that when we are doing the most mundane tasks, the greatest understanding hits?

I was in the shower the other evening after recording another episode of the podcast when a jolt of comprehension flooded through me. The individual I had interviewed has some marketing expertise and we were discussing a few of my goals around the podcast. He offered some suggestions to consider that could help me grow my base. One of his comments was around ensuring I provide something that draws in the audience while still maintaining my distance. He recognized that this could be a bit of a challenge for me as I am a very open person - a straight shooter.

I have often been accused of being too blunt, too honest, or direct. This trait of being straightforward or forthright is not necessarily a positive when working in corporate America despite companies advertising they want you to bring your authentic self to work. As someone who does work in corporate America, I am embroiled in a continuous struggle of mollifying those around me by softening my presentation. Based on my previous sentence, I believe you see how I feel about this necessary tempering and attempts to “filter” my communication. Working in multiple roles where I bridge between two different groups, often with competing priorities or focus, sometimes where English is a second language, being clear, concise, and direct is imperative. I find it ironic that my approach needs to be altered to minimize offense to others because I find it offensive when people don’t give me a straight answer or direct feedback. I realize appreciating a blunt communication style puts me in the minority. I get it. MOST people want to feel warm and fuzzy - even if the sky is falling.

Which led me to the possible revelation I mentioned at the beginning. A close colleague and I were recently commiserating how it seemed as though people around us were on a campaign to feed us, well, bullshit. This colleague comes from similar career experience and has the same appreciation for directness. As we appear to be atypical, I wondered WHAT IF people feed us these fake stories because they don’t believe we think it is fake?! WHAT IF they think that us refusing to put a spin on something means we assume everyone is telling us the truth?! This is a somewhat unflattering view, but if someone thinks what they say is a little white lie, this seems far more pleasant than lying because they do not care whatsoever. Notice I called it “fake” but in actuality, it may be the person trying to market the story to me but using their preferences and as it conflicts with mine, it seems fabricated.

So why share this thought? It is important to consider the individual’s perspective and where they come from in an interaction. What behaviors are they demonstrating and why? Equally important, in my opinion, is that you don’t underestimate those around you. Being humble and realizing even if someone doesn’t demonstrate a specific behavior or particular information doesn’t mean they are unaware or uneducated. When struggling to communicate with someone effectively, consider watching the individual closely for clues about preferred communication style or having a conversation to find ways to improve the interactions. A little investment upfront can save lots of time down the road.

Cheers, Heather :)